Catnipped
by Katerina Riley
Summary: Adrien get high on catnip and figures out a lot of things. Like how Marinette is Ladybug and his father is Hawkmoth. Hilarity ensues. Also kissing. / Adrientte, Crack.


_**Catnipped**_

* * *

Adrien isn't entirely sure how it happens, just that one moment he's cooing at the new kittens in the adoptions center, where Nino and Alya are trying to find the perfect dog for Alya's mom's birthday, and the next, he's coated in something that's kind of like tiny hay, but not.

"I'm so sorry!" Marinette cries out, looking completely horrified. "I—I—I just tripped! My feet! And I placed my hand—I'm sorry!"

"Girl, _breathe_," Alya mumbles, stepping away from the dogs and putting an encouraging hand on Marinette's shoulder. "Adrien's fine, right buddy? See, no harm no foul."

"Uh, yeah…fine…"

Is he fine though? He feels…something. Like a wave of energy is clawing up him, starting from his feet. It's currently at his waist and it's only been a few seconds. What will happen when it gets to his head?

"Yo, dude." Nino is looking at him in worry. "_Are _you okay?"

"A-Adrien?" Marinette squeaks out.

Marinette. Blue eyes, pigtails, kind heart. Wow she could be Ladybug.

Wait.

Wait a minute.

"Oh, my god," he breathes out.

"Guys, his eyes are really dilated," he hears Nino say, but he doesn't pay attention to the rest of the conversation.

Because _oh. my. cheese_!

Marinette is Ladybug.

_Marinette _is Ladybug.

Marinette is _Ladybug_.

"Stop saying that," someone scolds, their voice wavering. "No, I'm not."

When did he get in the car?

Wait, no, better question: When did he get in the car and in the backseat, laying down with his head in Marinette's lap.

Heh… His head was in his Lady's lap…

"You're so pretty," he says dreamily, reaching for one of her pigtails.

"He—He's delusional!" Marinette shouts, shocked.

"He's not _delusional_," Alya's voice says from somewhere in the front of the car. "He might be completely and utterly high, but he's not _delusional_."

Nino snorts, also from somewhere in the front seat. "It was just _catnip_. He can't be high, it's an allergic reaction, or something."

Catnip. He hums.

"Plagg _loooooves_ catnip," he says, still caressing Marinette's hair. He doesn't notice her posture grow stiff. "He says he doesn't, but I know he dooooose!"

"P-Plagg?" she repeats.

"Yeah." He sits up suddenly and grab's her hands. "My Lady, I don't know _your _kwami's name!"

He doesn't notice the way Nino and Alya stare at him from the review mirror and then glance at each other, silent words passing through them.

"What did you just call me?" Marinette gapes.

"You know mine," he wines. "Plagg told me all about how you two saved the city when I was trapped in the nightmare."

Then he frowns.

"My Lady," he starts, leaning in. "You're really so beautiful in and out of the mask, can I kiss you?"

"A-Adrien!" Marinette practically shrieks, pushing him back. Her face is completely red. "You're not yourself. You're—You're high or having an allergic reaction or—"

"I'm high on you," he murmurs, laying back down on her lap, this time on his stomach. "I'm only allergic to you not liking me back."

He curls inward, wrapping his arms around we waist and burring his face in her stomach.

"Oh my god," she squeaks, hands covering her face.

He's so feels so safe here. And Marinette's so comfortable.

"Maybe I should be driving to the hospital," Nino says. "Instead of his house."

His house.

Something… There was something about his house…

"It's not an allergic reaction," Alya countered. "We'd just be wasting time at the hospital. I'm sure Natalie will know what's going on."

Natalie…

"Adrien are you _purring_?"

He looks up at Marinette and smiles. Wow, she really was gorgeous. Gorgeous and kind and selfless and amazing and strong and—

"S-Stop!" she stutters.

"But you _are_, my Lady," he says, pressing his face further in her stomach. "And so much more."

"O-Oh, look we're here!" Marinette shouts, opening the door. "Let's get you in there, kitt—Adrien, come on now."

She's manhandling him out of the car and it's truly the hottest thing, how strong she is.

"That's _my_ Lady," he sighs.

Then he sees his house.

He remembers.

"No, I can't go in there!" he shouts, twisting out of Marinette's grasp.

He forgot. He forgot that the moment he realized Marinette was Ladybug he also realized other things. Like Alya was Rena Rogue and Nino was Caprice and his dad was Hawkmoth and Lila was a truly awful person, but he forgot all that because Marinette and Ladybug are one in the same.

His dad was Hawkmoth.

His dad _is _Hawkmoth.

Hawkmoth is his—

"Adrien, what are you saying?"

And this time, when he looks at Marinette, he doesn't see a stuttering, blushing girl, he sees Ladybug.

_Ladybug_…

"Adrien, focus!"

"Why do you think your dad's Hawkmoth?" Nino asks, his voice low.

"The book, the painting, the butterfly on our house," he lists, starring up at the stain glass window. How hadn't he noticed it before?

Alya is frowning though. "What book and painting?"

"_The _book," he looks back at Marinette. "The one Lila stole."

"And the painting?" Alya prompts again.

"Of my mom."

They're all silent for a moment, and Adrien isn't sure if it's because they believe him or not, but he doesn't care.

Because Marinette's brow is creased in that way that means she's thinking really hard and it's so cute. She's so smart and so brave and so beautiful—

Her hand is now covering her mouth.

"I can't think when you say those things," she says fiercely, though there's also a blush on her cheeks too. Taking a deep breath, she announces, "Okay, new plan. We're going to my house until whatever's going on with Adrien wears off."

"How long will that take?" Nino asks.

She shrugs. "How long does catnip usually affect cats?"

"It can take about two hours for him to be fully himself again," Alya says, looking up from her phone. "So, does that mean—"

"Let's go," Marinette interrupts, heading back to Nino's car.

Adrien follows her dreamily. She's still holding his hand.

"You know what's not fair?" he says, curling into her, his head on her shoulder and his legs over her lap and his hands wrapped around her arm.

"That I haven't been recording this from the beginning," Alya's voice says. She's laughing.

"You've kissed me _twice _now and I can't remember either of them. First with Dark Cupid and then with Oblivio, and it's not fair, I want to remember…"

He can feel Marinette swallowing tensely.

"I—uh, I don't think that Ladybug remembers the Oblivio kiss either."

"I do~!" Alya sing-songs, waving her phone around and winking.

"But you remember the other one!" He pouts, nuzzling into her neck. "I want to remember just one kiss with you…"

A flash.

"Alya! Delete that!" Marinette hisses.

"Nope!"

"Nino, tell your girlfriend—"

"Oh, look at that, we're here!" he announces, his voice several octaves higher than usual.

As they get out of the car, someone else leaves the bakery, and the smell hits Adrien like a train.

"Wait, Adrien!" Marinette says, her arm reaching out to catch him by the collar.

But it's too late. He's already in the shop.

"Oh my god, they smell soooooo good!" he moans, starring down at the sweets.

"Good afternoon, Adrien, dear." Mrs. Dupain-Cheng, looks down at him slightly amused. "Would you like a treat?"

"Nah, we're good, maman," Marinette says hurriedly. "We're all just going to go up to—"

"I want a treat." He pouts. "Father never lets me eat sweets. Says its bad for my figure. He can't make money off me if I'm fat."

There's a moment of silence, where all of their eyes grow wide and their mouths fall open.

Then:

"I'll take one of each, Marinette's mom," Nino cries out, raising his finger.

"Me too!" Alya adds, two fingers in the air.

Marinette points to a machine in the far corner. "Throw in some hot chocolate, maman!"

"Don't worry, I'll bring it up to your room soon," Mrs. Dupain-Cheng promises, looking almost angry.

Two of each pastry _and _host chocolate? This was the best day of Adrien's life. He doesn't care if Father might kill him, he's going to _pig out_!

They look at him strangely, one part sad, two parts horrified.

"What?" he asks.

"Nothing, come on," Marinette says, grabbing his hand and leading him up the stairs.

The minute the door closes, Alya turns her hands on her hips.

"Okay, Mari. Spill. Are you Ladybug?"

"She is!" Adrien coos, draping himself over is. "She's my Lady."

Nino looks like he wants to laugh, but doesn't. "So, then, that would make you…Chat Noir…"

He purrs—_purrs_—and continues nuzzling into Marinette's neck.

"Wait, just a minute," Marinette starts. "I'm not—"

"You are,_ purr_incess."

After a moment of silence, mostly since Marinette turned completely read and hasn't been able to speak, Nino pipes up, "Is he… Adrien are you, like, doing a scent thing?"

"Nino, what?" Marinette barely managed to squeak out.

"A scent thing." He shrugs. "Don't cats do that to, like, mark what's there's? Or something?"

Alya takes another photo, grinning like a maniac.

"It also feels good," Adrien murmurs quietly. "You feel good."

"I _feel_—?" Marinette chokes on the words, her entire being trembling in his arms. "Oh my god…"

Then, just as Alya's phone rings, Mrs. Dupain-Cheng brings in the pastries.

"These are delicious! Thank you!" Adrien cries out, stuffing his face immediately.

Mrs. Dupain-Cheng ruffles his hair softly. She leaves, muttering something about adoption and harmful parenting.

By the time Alya gets off the phone, Adrien's eaten most of the pastries and is lying on his back, seemingly in a blissful food coma.

"It was the shelter," Alya explains. "They said that someone else is interested in Gillbert and I should hurry down if I still want him."

"Go," Marinette says. "There's only about half an hour left, right? I can deal with Adrien."

"I'm sure you can," Alya winks.

Nino holds his hands up in surrender, leaving the room without saying a word.

"Oh, kitty, what am I going to do with you," Marinette sighs, talking to the empty room.

"You called me kitty!" he shouts, sitting up and grinning.

She walks over to him, a soft smile on her face. "Well you are, aren't you?"

"Yes!" He jumps up to his feet just to completely put all his weight into Marinette's arms. "I'm your kitty."

"Well, you need a nap, kitty."

She maneuvers him up to her bed, with no help what-so-ever from him.

"No, stay," he mumbles, reaching for her. His eyes are already half-closed.

She tried to say no, but the moment her eyes landed on his, with his face soft and open and earnest, she really, really couldn't say no.

So, instead, she says, "Of course, kitty," and settles down on her bed.

Adrien, who is Chat Noir, clings to her like an octopus and fall asleep on her shoulder. They have a lot to discuss when he wakes up, so she makes a list.

The first: Hawkmoth.

The second, if they don't just spend all their time on the first, which part of her wants to do and part of her doesn't: What are they now? They're not _just _teammates, not anymore. Not after knowing who they are and the kisses they've shared and the friendship they have in costume.

In costume.

Adrien is Chat Noir.

Chat Noir is Adrien.

The whole time, this entirely time, it was Adrien she was rejecting. Adrien she was befriending. Adrien she was saving. And Adrien who was saving her too.

She wants to slap herself.

She wants to kiss him.

She opts for opening her phone and browsing the internet.

Finally, about an hour later, Adrien wakes up.

"Blugh," he moans, clutching his head. "What the hell happened?"

"Uh…you mean you don't remember?"

He turns and blanches. "M-Marinette? W-Why—? What—?"

Then, he realizes he's not just _next to_ Marinette, he's in her _room_, on her _bed_, and laying _under the covers_ beside her!

She however, doesn't seem concerned at all for the above. Rather, she asks, "You really don't remember? Anything?"

"I—I remember…uh…being at the shelter…with Alya and Nino…"

After a pause, she prompts, "But nothing after that?"

He shakes his head.

Marinette seems to deflate a little, but her brow is furrowed, as if deep in thought.

It almost reminds him of Ladybug.

"Well, then…" she finally says, looking at him slyly. "I guess it's a good thing we didn't kiss."

His brain sputters at that. Did he want to kiss her? Why can't he remember _that_?

"Because then, it would be the _third _kiss you'd have forgotten, and that's just cruel."

The…_third_ kiss?

"Marinette." His voice is small. "What are you talking about?"

"Kitty," she says and his heart skips a beat. "I thought you said you wanted to finally remember kissing me."

She called him kitty. Marinette just called him kitty.

"But, if you don't anymore, that's completely fine too." She shrugged, smirking. "After all, I have been rejecting your flirting for a while now. It's funny though—I've been rejecting you for you."

For a moment, he couldn't get his mouth to move.

"A-Are… Are you implying…what I…th-think you're…implying…?"

She hummed. "Am I…?"

The silence stretches on longer than before. It gets broken up a frustrated shout.

"For the love of cheese, just kiss already!" Plagg flies out of Adrien's jacket shirt. "I can't stand this! Just kiss for cheese's sake!"

"Plagg!" a red kwami flies out of Marinette's purse. Adrien definitely can't breathe for a full two seconds. "Don't rush them! These things take time!"

"Not, this much time, Tikki! I can't stand it anymore!"

They fly off, going somewhere, he doesn't know where, bickering all the way. About him and Marinette kissing. About him and _Ladybug _kissing.

Adrien is very, very acutely aware of the other person sitting beside him. In the bed. In _her_ bed.

"Oh, that was very strange." Marinette says nonchalantly. "I wonder what on earth those things could be."

Again, Adrien tries to talk, but even after several seconds, his mouth still doesn't emit the words he's not even fully sure he wants to say.

"What's the matter, Adrien?" She leans in and she is very, very close to his mouth. "_Cat _got your tongue?"

He squeaks.

"Or, perhaps," she smirks, "You want a _ladybug_ to get your tongue instead?"

Oh god, he's dying. He's not going to make it to school tomorrow because he, Adrien Agreste, is about to die right this very second.

"I don't hear a yes," she teases.

He licks his lips. Finally, he manages a small, tiny, "Yes, please."

And then Marinette is on him faster than Plagg is on cheese.

She's kissing him and kissing him and Adrien really does think he might combust, but it's so good, he doesn't want to.

After what feels like hours of rolling around in her bed, kissing and kissing and a little bit of petting, but mostly lots and lots of kissing, Marinette finally pulls back.

"This has been fun, great really," she pants. "But we have more serious issues to discuss too, kitty."

"What can be more important that kissing?" he asks, trying to bring her back down to him.

"Maybe like you think your dad might be Hawkmoth?"

Oh. Well, that's one way to ruin the mood.

"When did I say that?"

"When you were high off your butt on catnip."

He really needed to get the full story on what happened during the two-ish hours he blacked out.

"Is that when I told you I wanted to kiss you too?" he asks.

"Yeah, and then some." She's smiling softly down at him and for a moment, he thinks she'll lean back down, but instead, she sits completely up. "So, tell me everything, kitty. We need to be prepared."

"And then we can kiss again?" He sits up too, already missing feeling her weight on his chest and her hips between his legs as her hands bracketing his head while her lips press against his own.

She grins, almost as if she could tell what he was thinking. "Absolutely."


End file.
